If you are as old as me you will remember the old Milk Tray adverts. The man dressed in black, diving into shark infested waters, avoiding stampeding yak to climb a Mongolian castle walls, skiing just ahead of a deadly avalanche, hanging from a helicopter. ‘The Milk Tray Man’, as he became known, performed these death defying stunts and raids like some James Bond type dude. You name it, the Milk Tray man did it.

Why did he do all of those things? Well, they tell you, right at the end of the adverts:

“And all because the lady loves Milk Tray”

To deliver a box of Milk Tray chocolates to a “lady” that we never really see.

The classic ads ran from 1968 to 1984 with the Australian actor Gary Myers playing the daredevil chocolate delivery man. Beats the shit out of Deliveroo eh? (and other such annoying food delivery companies). The same theme of ads returned in the early 2000s and again around 2016 to mark the brand’s 100th anniversary. But I can’t really recall any of the more recent ads. Maybe they are just not as memorable.

Future Milk Tray Man?

What’s all this got to do with being an old dad then? Apart from me being old enough to remember those early adverts…. Well, Dani is building up to his own Milk Tray advert the way he is going. He is getting to be quite an action kid. The latest adventure sport he has been learning is sailing. Over this past year he has skied, surfed and sailed his way around. All things I could only have dreamed of when I was his age. I guess that’s the best part of being an old dad. Your son can get to do all (or at least some) of the things you couldn’t…

But then despite all the action and despite the fact that he really enjoys it all, he would still rather sit at home all day on the bloody iPad playing or watching youtube videos about video games. That’s the way kids his age are these days… I know.

If he doesn’t start to reduce his dependency on that bloody iPad this summer I will help his Milk Tray Man training by throwing him into shark infested waters. Easily arranged in these parts.

Those old ads…

In today’s world, adverts like this would probably be classed as sexist, or some other “ist”. But back in the 70s (and 80s) this series of ads was absolutely top class. It worked too. Everyone knew what these adverts were for. Also they never fell foul to that classic advertising f*ck up. The one where the ads are so good that people remember the adverts but not the product. Oh no! Everyone, absolutely everyone, knew the tag line at the end that mentioned the product.

Here are a few examples if you are not familiar with the ads. Or worse still, you have forgotten them!

Audition for the role?

And finally, here is Dani’s new calling card…