The Sum Of All Fears…


No. Not the Film…

If you were to ask me what my biggest fear was when I left the workplace to spend more time with my son I would have given you the answer immediately. It was not a difficult question.

My biggest and only real fear was that Dani was a child at the age when only their mother will do. Anything else just isn’t good enough. Anything else just increases the pain and makes the situation worse. What starts off as a minor moan or little cry can easily turn into a full blown tantrum. A major disaster. End of the world stuff. All because mummy is not there. Even if I mimic the exact same words and actions it will never have the same calming effect.

It’s only natural…

Toddlers always gravitate to their mothers. Clinging to them at times as if life cannot possibly exist without the constant attention of their mum. I understand it. I really do. There is no way that I could hope to fill the shoes of Dani’s mother. It is perfectly natural. And there is no point in any feminist trying to convince me otherwise. The bond between a toddler and their mother is the way it was meant to be. This is mother nature at work. Or, if you are at all religious (which I am not particularly); the way God made it.

The thing is when I started this stay-at-home-dad thing I thought that he would already be that stage in his “development”. At that point I really expected the worst. (It was only 8 months ago although it seems much longer.) Yet once we started spending more time together – e.g. just two lads travelling to the UK – this stereotypical behaviour never really manifested itself. Until now that is.

Why and What…

Maybe it is linked in with his new environment and his own fears of being left in school all day. Quite possibly. One thing is clear however. That time in his development has definitely arrived. He has become a real mummy’s boy. I do not mean that in a shameful name calling kind of way. It is perfectly normal and I fully accept it. It just makes it that much harder for me to do things on my own with the lad.

What I really need to know is: What, if anything, can I do about it? And how long will it last?

I fear that I already know the answers to these questions: Nothing & For a very long time.

Movie nonsense…

Incidentally in case you didn’t know; the Sum of All Fears is also the title of a fairly decent movie starring Ben Affleck. It also stars the excellent Morgan Freeman who plays the president of the United States. Clearly Mr. Freeman would make a far better president than the current “leader of the free world” but that is an altogether different subject.

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