Let’s Talk Sh*t

Toilet training update…

Well it’s been two weeks now since Dani started his serious toilet training and I have to say he has done well. Very well. Much better than I expected. He has even quietly disappeared on his own to take a good dump. I was so proud of him. There is one thing however. He really does not like the kids’ toilet seat. He will only use the potty although he will use a normal toilet seat in a restaurant or bar.

There is definitely something he dislikes about those kids’ toilet seat reducer things. What the hell are they called? Anyway, you get the point right?

He is almost accident free but has still managed a few minor trickles. The best part though is that we can more or less get him to pee on demand. A bit like what you are supposed to be able to do when training a dog. Pee only though on that one I am afraid. The big number two jobs come only when he wants them to.

While we are on the subject of shit….

This weekend I took Dani to the Retiro park in central Madrid. Apart from all the usual parky things there are several buildings where they set up art exhibitions. We went into one of them – free entry of course, and just as well. This was an exhibition by some bloke (or women?) called Rémy Zaugg.

What complete and utter shit! There were some “works of art” that were nothing more than a one coloured canvas. Some called “Blue Canvas” (or something like that). Others called “sheet of paper” and “sheet of paper II” (and so on) were nothing more than old newspapers and waste paper stuck together – or so it seemed. I kid you not. See the photos below.

Well there is one thing those works could be good for. An old sheet of paper is perfect for cleaning up after a visit to the toilet. For “Sheet of Paper” read “shit paper”…

Back to the subject of toilet habits: They are really taking the piss with this shit!

shit paper
Sheet of Paper?
blue canvas
Blue Canvas?

Intense Potty Training

So this is potty training. What fun!

I suppose I have been dreading this stage in Dani’s development. Partly because he has been so quick with everything else and always showed signs that somehow he would resist using the toilet. Something was always going to be difficult.

I knew this because we had bought him all the vital equipment a while ago and had tentatively tried to get him to use them – with no luck at all. However, things are getting serious now as he needs to be toilet trained for September when he starts full time school. Crazy really as he is only 2 years and 8 months old but this is the reality of the Spanish school system.

Start of Intense Training…

Last weekend his training started in earnest. Out went the nappies (pañales) and in came the underpants. Various designs – mainly featuring the Minions oddly enough.

I never realised we had so many but just as well. In the first day he went through about 6 pairs of undies and had two number 2s on the floor, just missing the finishing line of the toilet seat. Better luck next time eh?

The last two days he has shown some success and copied his old dad. A sort of team pissing event you could say. Me using the toilet while Dani stands over his bright green potty. Yet it is not consistent as he has also completely refused to use the bathroom even though he clearly has been desperate to relieve his bladder. On one occasion peeing on the floor just outside the bathroom.

Quick with most things, Slow with this one…

When he is in the mood he will do it when he is not there seems to be nothing we can do. All very odd. I say it is very odd because his speech development is excellent for his age. He will engage in a conversation and he definitely knows what he should be doing. He just will not do it half of the time.

Maybe he just misses his nappy. Funny how he never missed his dummy nor his bottle. This one is a lot more difficult and a lot more important. Maybe, just maybe, the whole thing is (for want of a better phrase) stressing him out. Could he be stressing about it?

The height of stress – telling his parents that he needs the toilet. Oh to be that young….


Some Like it Hot

Someone turned the heat up while I was away.

Actually it was quite warm in Madrid just before I left for France. Then after a few weeks of poor weather in France and UK coming back to Madrid the wall of hot air hit me and there is no escape. It doesn’t seem to affect Dani at all. He takes it all in his stride.

I am writing this as I read that there is about to be a mini heatwave in the UK. Temperatures are set to go as high as the low 30s this week. That heatwave aside we are now in that time of year when the daily low in Madrid is warmer than the daily high in the UK. It was about 16°C in the UK when we left – admittedly lower than it should be for the time of year – and double that here in Madrid when we landed.

It has gotten even warmer since; reaching up to about 40°C now. In fact, we are now in that ‘too hot’ time of the year. Sleeping is difficult without a fan. Leaving the windows open is no help as the outside temperature can be higher than inside. Yet again Dani takes it in his stride. He still sleeps well, even in these uncomfortable temperatures.

It is also that time of year when most of the population of the city flee the oppressive heat and head for the coast. North, south, east or west; anywhere there is sea where the temperature will be that crucial few degrees cooler. It makes all the difference, especially at night.

Heatwaves aside, the only thing that is bothering Dani right now is the intense potty training. He just does not want to do it. He has been a very quick developer in most things. He stopped needing his dummy (chupete) long ago, he only drinks from cups and his speech development is fantastic. Yet he still seems determined to stay in his nappies (pañales). The big problem is that in September when he starts full time school they insist that the kids are fully toilet trained.

As mentioned in a previous post “Schools – Part 1” they start full time school at three years old in Spain although in Dani’s case he will not quite be three. It is now becoming a race against time…

How Time Flies

Everyone seems to tell you the same thing when you have a young child. Time flies! Well June came and went extremely quickly this year. And half of July has also gone. But now I am back on the keyboard.


The reason I have not been writing over this past month or so is mainly due to travelling. Three trips to the UK and a holiday to France. Well really that should read “Road Trip” to France. I went with five friends – themselves old dads, although with kids much older than Dani. Using the flimsy excuse of going to a football tournament we set out in a 6 berth campervan (owned by one of the lads) taking in football, beer and beaches. Or so we thought. The weather put a stop to the third item on the agenda. I may need to post a few more details on the road trip. Maybe I could call it “Old dads hit the road”…


Meanwhile the UK has voted for “Brexit” and I for one am happy they did. You may find that a little odd considering I am living with my Spanish son, in Spain. Well I happen to think that Spain too would be better off at least partly detaching itself from the centrally controlled EU.

I don’t want to turn this blog into a political platform but I feel that I should post something about the Brexit vote at some point.  After all I did say when I started this blog that Dani, being half Spanish and half British, should have the best – but unfortunately also the worst – of both worlds.