New Bedtime Stories – with a few Old Names

Bedtime Stories with a new Twist

I have had to think fast when telling bedtime stories lately.

While the old favourites like the Elves and the Shoemaker, Jack and the Beanstalk and Red Riding Hood still work most of the time, the recent obsession with Star Wars and a new (for Dani) TV show have taken story-time to a new level.

Quick TV Show Premise

That TV show is called Zak Storm. Basically, the series goes like this:

While out surfing, teenager Zak Storm gets sucked into some kind of giant wave vortex (apparently ending up in the Bermuda Triangle) after “borrowing” (stealing) his father’s necklace, which is really some mythical “eye” of some mysterious sea. Still with me? Zak ends up as the captain of a ship called The Chaos, which has its own rag tag crew and a talking sword (Calabrass). He then has to try to find his way home while fighting off skeleton pirates who appear more like robots.

Yes. Exactly!

I am not a big fan and I haven’t really been paying much attention to this TV programme. I am definitely not yet familiar with all the members of Zak’s crew so I simply decided to make them up.

Introducing the Crew….

The other day I introduced them to my son. Please be aware that no copyright infringement is intended. You just might recognise some of the characters from elsewhere…Story-time went a bit like this:

“Daddy who is on the ship with Zak?”

“Well. Let me see. Blue Beard, Peg-leg Pete and One-eyed Jack.” Names that came instantly to mind but no idea from where.

“Who else daddy?”.

I was already struggling. Then a moment of inspiration…

“There was his second in command. Roger Mellie”

(Laughing) “Roger Mellie???”

“Yes. He used to be on the telly. Then there was Biffa Bacon.”

(Laughing) “Biffa Bacon? Biffa Bacon!!? Hahahaa. What?”

“Yes. He likes to eat bacon and he hits people for the captain”

“And Biffa Cheese?” laughing to himself. “He likes cheese sandwiches.”

“No. Not on this ship. Then there was Johnny Fartpants”

More laughter…Lots more…

“He was the cook. Then there was Jimmy Two-Times. They call him that because he says everything two times, two times”.

“Daddy. Daddy. He says everything two times? He says everything two times?” (Laughs.)

“Yes. And he also had a friend, Frankie the Wop.”

And that is how it goes… We now spend most of the time discussing the ship’s crew and their special (or not so special) abilities, while I try to weave a bit of a story in between. He loves it. Almost as much as his dad.


Incidentally, I have only just discovered that the word “wop”, whilst sometimes being used as a kind of insult, is derived from ‘WithOut Papers’. Many Italian immigrants to the USA had no papers when they arrived so they were branded ‘wops’. At least that is what I read online. It’s hard to know the truth about some of these things but that explanation seems logical enough to me. So there you go… Story-time can be quite an education.

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