Melbourne – Australia’s Most Liveable City (so they say)

In a couple of weeks time we have Dani’s two Spanish cousins coming to visit him (along with their parents of course) and we have an excursion to Melbourne planned. The Victorian state’s main city has recently been listed as “Australia’s most liveable city (2022)” ahead of Adelaide and Sydney. But Melbourne only came 10th overall, in the world list that it topped for eight straight years between 2011 and 2017.

Great eh? Well, not really. What follows can probably be filed under “grumpy old dad”, but please read on…

World’s Most Liveable Cities (list)

About a week ago the annual list was published by the Economist Intelligence Unit (something to do with the Economist magazine I think, they have a website – not really bothered to find out). Vienna, in Austria, topped the list and the highest any Aussie city came was 10th. Joint 10th in fact, as Melbourne tied with Osaka (Japan). Adelaide was 13th after finishing 3rd in 2021. No idea where Sydney finished and not really interested.

Then along came covid (I really did not want to mention that word, but hey…). And due to the pathetic, ahem, I mean harsh nature of lockdowns across the whole country, Australian cities dropped down the list. As did (similarly) cities in the people’s republic of New Zealand. Apparently the lifting/relaxing of covid restrictions was slower in Adelaide than Melbourne so the South Australian city dropped further down the list.

What the f*%k?!! Melbourne (and Victoria in general) was basically under martial law for a full fecking year! Who are they trying to kid?

Which brings me nicely on to this: The criteria for determining the ‘most liveable city’. It is called the global liveability index and apparently is a list of some 30+ things. But the exact detail? I do not know. I have been trying to find the complete list but it escapes me. It is not even obvious on the website. But one thing that is surely not on the list is “ease of finding a pub in the city centre”. Because if it was, Melbourne would have fallen flat on its arse I can tell you.

Do you know what the list is?  Please feel free to post a reply if you can find it. I really could not find it…

If you ask me all this crap is about as relevant as Eurovision. Or to give it its old, full title; ‘The Eurovision Song Contest’. But that said I do have a question. How the hell did Melbourne still manage to figure so highly?

Anyway the point is; I really do not want to go to Melbourne again. The other week was enough for me for some time at least, if not for good (click here to read about that trip).

Plus the fact that the Victorian government were so dictatorial during the covid crap must be a good enough reason not to take your tourism there. Right?

Do it for the kids…

We are using Melbourne as a base for the main reason of the trip is to take the kids to see the famous little penguins at Philip Island. I think they call it “the penguin parade” or something like that. I went to see the little creatures when I was first in Melbourne way back in time in the 1990s (oddly enough, when it did actually seem like a very liveable city to me).

I know. I know. The kids are going to love the penguins so it is worth it for that alone. But I still don’t fancy tramping around the city centre again. It’s just not as great as some seem to make out. Not only that, but the weather is not too great here in Sydney and it will almost certainly be colder and wetter in Melbourne. Not a great prospect. Do we have to???

So, in the spirit John Cooper Clarke’s “I don’t want ever want to go to Burnley
I’ll tell you each in turn,
I don’t want to go to Melbourne 

Maybe I could fake covid so I have to stay home and self isolate. All jokes aside, I may not need to fake it the way things are going around here at the moment. But that’s another story (perhaps) for another time…

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