Australian Federal Elections – 3 months on

General Election (‘Federal’ election here in Oz)

Last May Australia held its federal election (general election in UK). Three months on and the results and fallout are already comedy gold.

The winners were the old opposition. It’s obviously their turn. The “Labour” lot (similar to Labour in UK, PSOE in Spain) beat the “Liberals” (Tory in UK, PP in Spain). The two party system is alive and well in Australia. Did someone say “party”? Well there are those who wish to gate-crash said party.

Incredibly the Green party took just under 1.8 million votes. That amounts to just over 10% of the overall vote. Amazing eh? In a country known for it’s extensive mineral wealth – and yes that includes “fossil fuels” – there is at least 1 in 10 voters who would seemingly be happy to see the country turn into a third world basket case. Because that is almost certainly what would happen if the “green” party ever won an election.

Of course this green mania is rather trendy these days. I mention above “at least 1 in 10”, but in fact there were plenty who voted for what can only be described as ‘plastic greens’, who have been labelled “teal independents”. Yes teal; that delicate shade of greeny-blue-ish… whatever (who cares?)… They are supposedly independents who are concerned about climate change. They managed to win something like 6 seats with approximately ¾ million votes. That’s almost another 5%, taking the green-ish tinted vote total to some 15% of the electorate. To use that now well known social media three lettered acronym – WTF?

About a week ago the news broke of how one particular teal independent politician just happens to own plenty of shares in Australia’s oil and gas companies. What a coincidence eh?. It turns out that she (for it is a female member of parliament) claims that by being a share holder in these (supposedly) ‘terrible’ (my choice of word) companies, that she can act as some kind of insider agitator. What a hero eh? (or should that be heroine? who cares?)

Yeah, right love! Pull the other one and f*ck off! I can’t remember her name but you could easily find it online. Besides they will probably all be at it. Do as we say, not as we do – typical politicians.

Right now energy companies (including all the oil and gas lot) are making huge profits. Hey, great investment, don’t get me wrong. But please spare us the usual politician’s bullshit. She – no doubt just like all the other “teal independents” – is nothing but a chancer.

The Great ‘Scomo’, Master Illusionist (Hey presto, Abracadabra and all that…)

Another crazy story that has been in the news for some weeks now (it seems longer) is about the outgoing prime minister (Scott Morrison – aka ‘Scomo’) As well as being PM this man somehow managed to hold 7 ministerial portfolios during the “pandemic”. He is getting slated by media and opponents as, apparently, this was all done in secret.

Between March 2020 and May 2021, Morrison appointed himself to – get this –  the health, finance, industry, science, energy and resources, home affairs and treasury portfolios without the public’s knowledge, and in some cases, without alerting the existing minister.

So somehow this oaf of a bloke managed to be PM and hold seven other senior minister’s position simultaneously and nobody noticed? Really? So when anything was mentioned about (say) the ministry for health or treasury nobody thought to ask who is in charge of that one? I know the world’s attention was diverted by that virus thing back then but please…!

Surely people noticed that the Prime Minister was also in charge of (say) the health ministry, or energy ministry or any of the others…? You really can’t make this stuff up.

“Hey weren’t you also at the energy ministry meeting the other day? And aren’t you the prime minister?”
“Blimey finance minister, you look just like the industry minister I spoke to only yesterday and you are a dead ringer for the PM mate.”
“That bloody science minister is about as useless as the prime minister. He even bloody looks just like him!”
(words apparently spoken by nobody, EVER!!!)

I describe him as an “oaf” because if you listen to any media criticism of the man you would think he was totally useless and semi-literate at best. You know they way they assassinate someone’s character when they think they need to be voted out?

Let me say that I am no fan. Far from it. But if he really managed to pull that off for such a long time and until after he was voted out, then surely this man is some kind of genius (relatively speaking of course – compared to those around him in parliament house). Surely he is just the kind of magician any country needs to lead it. Pulling all kinds of rabbits out of hats, as politicians often (metaphorically) promise. This man actually seems to be able to do such crap! And the country voted him out! Incredible eh?

But only just eh…

In fact ‘Scomo’ actually got more votes than the incoming PM (another chancer who leads the deceptively named ‘Labour’ party). But because of the way the system works, he lost. Not unlike the voting systems in other (so called) democracies.

And here’s another thing. Voting in the Australian federal elections is compulsory. Yet the turnout was just under 90%. So, at least 10% really couldn’t care less, despite it being illegal not to vote. Look at that another way: For every green voter there is another who doesn’t give a toss.

It will be interesting to see what happens during this new government’s term in office. How far will the green agenda go? Will anyone in the media ask any of the politicians what they think the Chinese are going to do with all the coal they import from this country? What do the “teal independents” think they do with all that coal, I wonder? Use it to carve little coal figurines?

Don’t hold your breath waiting for the media. Ask them yourselves.

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