Last weekend we moved house again – well, apartments. I quite liked the old place but we had no choice. The owner wants to live there and has plans to renovate the place. Under the terms of the lease we were given 3 months notice a couple of months back so needed to find a new place to live.

As luck would have it there was another (almost identical) apartment on the floor below. Same building. Great. That is the one we managed to get. It meant we didn’t really need to hire a removals company or even hire a big van. But it then meant we needed to shift everything ourselves. Never easy but we managed to do it quickly without having to dis-assemble the bigger items. No issues really… Apart maybe from our old friends the property managers/estate agents/realtors (whatever you want to call them). Oh yeah, they were on form...

Definitely the Easiest Job in Sydney

Some time ago I posted a blog about what I thought must be the easiest job in Australia – see that one here. I stand by that belief. Maybe not necessarily in Australia – hard to know with no experience of small towns here – but certainly Sydney. And the bunch of wankers we have had to deal with for this move proves it beyond any doubt.

Now You See Them…

We went to the agent’s office to sign the lease agreement. In the reception there are some 30 odd business cards to choose from. So called “Sales Agents” and “property managers” and “Directors”. The “property manager” for the new place was on hand to make sure we signed everything we needed to.

We also needed to return the keys from the old apartment once we had moved all our stuff. Naturally we wanted someone to confirm we had returned everything correctly and there were no issues. Only fair eh? Considering we had just signed about 50 pages of documentation. But when we wanted to see the person in charge of the property we were leaving? No chance.

We had to sign off on a load of keys but nobody was prepared to sign off to say that we had returned them. Anyone of the multitude of “property managers” who were there could have come to the reception and done that but no chance. Nobody was prepared to sign anything. That just isn’t in their job description.

Condition Report

Here in Sydney, like anywhere I guess, the rental property comes with a condition report. The agent produces this and the tenant then has to check and confirm, and also report any findings not on the report.

The “property manager” (mis)managed to produce a report that missed a whole bathroom. Well, to be exact they included it as an en-suite in the detailed section but in the summary stated that there was only one bathroom when there are in fact two. Not a problem and easy to see how that one occurred. Not so some of the others. There were many “defects” and most of them very easy to spot. And yet…

They completed each room including stating that fitted wardrobes were intact and damage free, when in fact there were door knobs missing or broken. They even attached their own photographs showing the doors with missing door knobs. The main patio window to the terrace has two noticeable gaps. OK, maybe not noticeable if you are a “property manager” with selective vision. But the best one was the dishwasher. Not an essential item in life of course but there is one that comes with the kitchen. Under the kitchen section where they needed to state if the appliance was working or not they simply put “Unknown. Needs to be switched on”. They could not even be bothered to find the fuse/switch box and power the bloody thing. In case you’re wondering the dishwater does actually work. Unlike the “property managers”.

Fortunately I Can Still Laugh…

These are not big issues but why can’t these so called “property managers” just get such minor jobs fixed before new tenants arrive? In other words “manage” the bloody “property”! We point out the defects and they will (eventually) send someone to fix them. Meanwhile the property had been empty for two months. It really defies logic eh? In most cases we will probably fix the things ourselves of course. Maybe that is what they want, who knows?

Ultimately it does beg the question: What the f*ck do these people do during working hours?

I said it partly in jest back in February 2020, but now I am convinced. Definitely the easiest job in Sydney (if not the whole of Australia).