Maybe it’s all the nonsense surrounding this virus scare but I seem to be a little more observant than usual. I have spotted some really odd signs and names. From posters to shop names to labels. Here are a few photos of some of them I have noticed in the past few days. Along with a little explanation of course.

Toilet rolls

With all this coronavirus crap going on I thought it was time to start checking the toilet roll situation. No escaping these previously innocent rolls of recycled paper. I went to check out the situation expecting to see a fight in the aisle. It wasn’t very crowded so I even got a ‘ringside seat’. But alas, no bog roll aggravation. Damn it. The supermarket managers were one step ahead of the game. There were no toilet rolls but there were a few boxes of tissues – same thing really I would have thought but apparently not.

At last a little bit of common sense injected into the situation. Just as I was wandering off a fat bloke appeared looking flustered and in a hurry. He saw there was no toilet roll and his faced went from looking like he needed a shit to looking heart-broken. I picked up a box of tissues and said, “Here mate. You can wipe your arse on these you know.” He didn’t look impressed and off he jogged. Probably to the shopping mall toilets for a good dump – which oddly enough they still have toilet rolls…

Olé Wine

Almost for a laugh we bought this wine. Spanish readers wil find it amusing for sure. The name alone is so corny (cursi) that we had to try it. Just read the labels – front and back. One word springs to mind and it isn’t “Olé”.

   

I am not sure what to make of this. The makers, or probably more likely the marketeers, are pushing this glorified image of the matador conquering the bull. Probably some of the people who are buying this wine think they are getting a piece of Spanish ‘passion’ or ‘culture’. They are probably the same type of people who would never go to a bullfight for ethical reasons (and I respect that point of view). Personally, I would drink this wine at  a bullfight. Cos it really doesn’t bother me. As for the taste? Average. Or thereabouts.

Sexist Joke

This one is great. The headline caught my eye. Something about a man sacked for telling some women at work a ‘sexist joke’. Naturally I read on… If this happened in the UK the newspaper would never print the alleged offensive joke. You would be hunting high and low through the article then come up disappointed, saying “Damn it. What was the bloody joke about?”

I was reading it in a café in the mall and burst out laughing when I read the joke. Partly because it was funny and partly because they actually did the right thing and printed it. They actually told the full story unlike the British press. Good on ‘em, I say. Hopefully some employer with a sense of humour will read this and offer the poor bloke a job, hahahaaa…

Storm in a D Cup

This shop name is the best I have seen so far in Sydney. Whenever I see such a shop name it always reminds me of my time in Liverpool in the mid-80s. There was also called recession on and in such times the number of hairdressers’ shops always seems to increase. One I always recall had a great name: ‘Curl Up and Dye’. It lasted a while then closed. They probably realised there was more money in blue pills than blue rinse. Who knows?

This place is totally self-explanatory.

I am sure their clientele are lovely ladies with great personalities. Best name ever for a women’s lingerie shop. At least the best I have seen. Can you better this one? Please let us know.

More of these to come, as and when I spot them…

Crisis? What Crisis?  (Also the title of a great Supertramp album by the way)

I have said it in a previous post. This Coronavirus scare is worse than the virus itself. How could the authorities have let it come to this? If this gets any worse (the hysteria that is, not the virus spread) it will make all this climate change alarm stuff look like almost sensible.

Travel plans…

Airlines are half-heartedly addressing the ‘problem’. Some are cutting some certain routes completely – for the time being. Airlines like Qatar who can afford to are not flying to certain destinations in Asia. Others are cutting prices. I am sure those not frightened off by the media hysteria will have a cheap holiday.

Even suitcase sales are being affected. You can now get a great deal on a decent set of luggage. Look at this picture from a shopping mall in Sydney I took the other day. Basically everything is almost half price.

It reminds me of that massive mad cow disease hysteria in the UK back in the mid 1990s. For me it meant great cuts of steak for next to nothing as the supermarkets could not sell them. I would have put a lot of weight on if I wasn’t training most days. As it was, with all that extra protein I was literally as fit as the butcher’s dog.

Toilet Roll Raid… 

The great toilet roll raid of 2020 continues apace. It is now widespread and well documented by the media but now even our local Woolworths supermarket has been hit. This is a photo of the toilet roll shelves this weekend.  It would not surprise me if they have just stopped stocking the shelves to avoid any trouble with mentally insane customers. Yeah it must be that eh? I must have a quiet word with the manager tomorrow…

Sports means money…

Next weekend the first Formula One race of the season is due to take place not too far from here in Melbourne. I read in a newspaper that the Ferrari team may not be allowed into the country from Italy – as Italy is the most infected place in Europe (if you believe the media). If that happens it is said that the race will not go ahead. So now we get to the crux. If big money sporting events are being cancelled will the truth out? Not even the truth (as such) but just an injection of common sense. I doubt anyone really knows the ‘truth’ about this latest global scare. 

My take on it is this…

The Olympic Games in Japan are fast approaching. This is an area of the world supposedly carrying the most risk. How many airlines are booked up with competitors and tourists for this sporting festival? And will they all be allowed to return to their own countries afterwards?

Therefore one of two things has to happen:
1. The Olympics goes ahead meaning the “threat” is declared to be as good as over by the world’s governments. They will come clean and tell us that it was never really as bad as they thought (as has happened many times before of course). In which case what have they been hiding these past few weeks? Makes you wonder eh?

Alternatively…
2. The Olympics are cancelled – an unprecedented move – which will be the catalyst to a little more than panic buying toilet rolls! Anything is then possible as the stability of the general public reaction cannot be underestimated.

Or maybe….

I suppose there is a 3rd option. The Olympics does not even need officially cancelling as everyone contracts the virus and basically we all get it. In that case – as bad as it sounds – there is really no point worrying about it is there? That one is already out of our control as the world’s leaders have done virtually nothing to contain the spread have they? So it’s just a case of wait and see.

Carry on regardless…. Or as they used to say in the War (2nd world one that is); Keep Calm and Carry On.

Oh and maybe you should try and pulp any old newspapers or magazines.

The Rocks is a well-trodden tourist area right beside Circular Quay and at one end of the Harbour Bridge. It is the historic heart of the city. It is in fact the original city centre. In 1788 Captain Arthur Phillip proclaimed that this rocky piece of land would be Sydney Town. The rest as they say, is history.

Missed it first time around…

Nowadays it is an historic, cultural and artistic centre attracting pretty much every visitor that comes to Sydney. Oddly enough I never visited The Rocks when I first came to Sydney in the mid-90s. I really don’t remember why. Since we moved here just over a month ago, I have been there three times already. And will probably go again in the near future. You can keep all those new high-rise office buildings. The Rocks is where it all began…

Architecture Old and New

The thing that strikes you immediately in The Rocks is the old architecture. Mostly mid 1800s to early 1900s. Low rise housing and commercial property mixed in with classic Victorian period stores and warehouses. The area has had its ups and downs. In 1900 for example whole street fronts were torn down to try to contain an outbreak of the bubonic plague. How medieval! Nowadays it is hard not to notice the new. Never far, looming in the background, the colossal skyscrapers and tower blocks continue to grow.

This area is right on the harbour so plenty of trade ships would have anchored alongside the shops and bars in the past. Today the ‘Queen Mary 2’ was in town. For some reason they allow these enormous cruise liners to moor right between The Rocks and the Opera House. Spoiling the views many would expect from certain vantage points on The Rocks. That should not worry anyone wanting to get a perfect view of the harbour, however…

Bridge Walk

Just a few streets up from the quayside and those huge cruise ships, there is easy access to the famous Harbour Bridge. You do not have to walk far across the bridge before the views turn into ideal photo opportunities.

Everyone wants to take a photo of that so called ‘iconic’ Opera House. Yes, it is an interesting and unique piece of architecture but once seen that’s it for me. I have no intention of ever watching an opera inside. It is odd that of all the people who photograph that building there are hardly any who actually even go to see an opera. I would say probably less than 1 in one hundred thousand. What do you think?

Anyway. Of course I did. Did you think I wouldn’t? Here is the proof…

The centre of the bridge is a great vantage point not only for that opera place. Or even for the Circular Quay and its city back-drop. What makes Sydney bay area such a beautiful place is not the man-made structures but the natural geography. If you took away all the buildings that would still be jaw-droppingly spectacular.

Old Charm versus ‘Progress’…

You don’t have to look far for the complete contrast in architecture. There was never any way that the old buildings could remain completely isolated from the growth of a new city. People fought the so called ‘progress’ in 1970 and saved most of the area being turned into tower blocks. Despite losing some of the older housing The Rocks still maintains a charm and character. Probably due in part to a decent collection of old pubs. Several of them claiming to be Sydney’s oldest pub or hotel. I really need to find out which one is truly the oldest. More on that to come…

That Science House is a work of art in itself. It was opened in 1930 but is now being leased to New York University. And conveniently built opposite a pub I see. Clever. OK, that pub came later, but it works well eh?

The Rocks has a fair collection of art galleries, designer shops and expensive jewellery shops. Understandable I guess when those ocean-going giants are parking right alongside. There are also regular street markets of which I am not a fan. But again, I understand that most tourists love that sort of thing. I just think they spoil the views across the streets. How can you appreciate the old low-level buildings when you can only see the tops of them?

Wooden Streets

Doing the cultural thing I went to visit The Rocks Discovery museum. I am glad I did, but not for the usual artefacts on display. It was a short film that grabbed my attention. In the 1880s Sydney had become a thriving commercial centre. Many of the streets that now make up the modern CBD (Central Business District) were either too dusty when it was dry or too muddy when it was wet. They tried stone paving, but this made too much noise as the only transport then was horseshoes and steel rimmed wagon wheels. Amazingly (to me at least) they came up with a system of wood block paving. Soon the streets were literally made of wood.

Eventually the streets were covered in tar/asphalt, as they still do today. However, most of the wooden paving still remains below the new surfaces. According to this short film I watched, there was a small section of wooden street that had been unearthed and restored. I asked in the museum and the lady kindly explained where to find it. “Blink and you would miss it” she said. I already had. Twice I had walked right past it. But now I knew what I was looking for.

Everyone is familiar with the old houses that have wooden parquet floors. But imagine whole wide, city centre streets paved in blocks of wood. Incredible right? Here is the photo of that small section of block wood paved street.

And the Craft Beers?

I didn’t forget. Walking around for over two hours is thirsty work. I made a point of visiting a few of the famous old pubs in the area before I had to get back to pick up my son from school. But this post is getting too long, so I think I will write a ‘Rocks part 2’ for that little tour…

I couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery. There. Said it.

I never thought I would make that sad admission. While not strictly true, I have definitely failed to do something that I thought would be easy. Book a half day craft beer tour in Sydney, pay the money, drink the beers, stagger off home. Sounds easy right? Sadly not.

Expression…

Anyone with a decent command of the English language will have heard this expression. ‘He/she couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery”. It is a simple derogatory phrase which means that a person is basically useless. So hopeless in fact that they can’t even organise something that should really take no (or hardly any) planning… Well you get it right?

I may now be considered an official member of that (unofficial) club. I tried to book myself on a half day craft brewery tour (or as I hoped a piss-up), but came up short.

Excuses, excuses…

In my defence, there are mitigating circumstances:

1. They only do the half day tours for a group booking. So, there would need to be 4 or more people.
2. I cannot do the full day tours as I need to get back to the school for 3pm when Dani finishes. The half day trip would have been ideal. There is another problem, however. Even the full day tours require a group of 6 or more. Fortunately, the full day tours are popular. People really do want to get pissed in a brewery, I guess. So, theoretically I could latch on to a full day tour group.
3. Finally, and most importantly, I don’t think that they actually allow you to get pissed (blind drunk). Proper smashed I mean. Shitfaced. Mainly because they need to keep their relationship with the brewery/bar owners sweet. Also, they would not let you back on the tour bus if you were legless. (People have been known to vomit profusely after consuming large amounts of strange new ales.) Besides I doubt there would be enough time to get really pissed on the half day tour.

Plan B

It looks like I will have to reassess. The half day tour looks like a dead end. But if I can get on one of the full day tours, I can probably cram in enough beers to get (at least) averagely pissed. That would be mission accomplished.

I need to get Dani doing some after school activity for the one day. Not an easy task as these things need to be booked in advance etc… Maybe I can get his mum to finish work early one day. I am sure I can figure something out. Never let it be said that this man ‘can’t organise a piss up in a brewery’. Onwards and upwards. Then stagger and possibly fall over….

On to The Rocks – Plan C

All was not lost. I decided to take a self-guided tour of The Rocks. The old historical part of Sydney where the city began. There are a few historic micro-brewery pubs in that little area. Let’s see…

This week the weather will mostly be… Rainy!

So, what does that mean? Apart from probably getting soaked wet through. It means that I need to find some indoor or tour-based activities. Because swimming outdoors (my plan for at least part of this week) is definitely off the agenda.

NEVER forget the Brolly!

As I type the rain is gushing down. I mean serious rain. So much for all those bush fires a couple of months ago eh? We both got completely drenched yesterday morning when I misjudged the conditions. Yes, it was raining but not too heavy. I decided to go by car but forgot Dani’s coat and the umbrella. When we arrived I was lucky enough to find a parking spot right across the road from the school gate. But then the heavens opened up fully. Biblical proportions – as they say. I was prepared to wait a while and see if it eased off (as we were a little early) but Dani said, “let’s get this over with”. So, we did. We only walked (ran) across the road and up the school yard – all of 20 metres – but got completely soaked. I had to walk back of course and when I got in the car it was as if I had jumped in a swimming pool fully clothed.

Yesterday I spent some time in the money museum. Now I need to plan for more rainy days…

Craft Beer Tour

And what better way to spend a rainy day than on a craft beer tour I hear you say. You know what? I agree with you. So, the plan for tomorrow is to take a half day tour with a well-known beer tour company. If there is availability. I will not be the only one who is wondering what to do in the rain.

Anyway, you can be sure of a full report and tour review – as always. I must remember to ask the tour guide how this virus thing is affecting trade.

That is Plan A. Plan B could be to try to find a supermarket still with some toilet roll on its shelves. Seriously… it just gets crazier by the day here..

Toilet Rolls Anyone?

This Coronavirus nonsense is getting out of hand now. People in Sydney (certain areas in particular it seems) have been panic buying all the toilet roll. Yesterday reports say that some woman (allegedly) pulled a knife on another shopper – I mean hoarder – in a supermarket scrap over toilet paper. Stockpiling toilet roll seems odd to me. It is really (almost) a luxury item and if there is one thing that you possibly (probably even) could go without in times of crisis it is toilet paper. Venezuela proves that. A whole country still somehow functioning (although questionably perhaps) for years without most people having toilet paper. The Venezuelan example is because under its communist style regime they just cannot provide the basics – toilet paper included. No such problems in capitalist Australia and Sydney in particular. But that has not stopped these idiots raiding all the bog roll.

I wonder what they are thinking? Do they realise that there are other alternatives to toilet roll, but not to having no food? Are they also stockpiling food? If not, then they may not be using much toilet paper anyhow. You can’t eat the fecking stuff for crying out loud!

There is serious side to all of this, however. The most worrying thing is not the spread of any virus, or the lack of toilet paper on the shelves. It is the fact that these people are so stupid – crazy even – that if real panic set in then anything is possible. People are really nuts… And remember folks; Mad Max was set in Australia!

Reserve Bank of Australia Museum

At the risk of sounding geeky, I was interested in seeing inside this museum from the moment I found out about it. On second thoughts: Who doesn’t like money? So, what’s geeky about this trip? Nothing. It was interesting just to see the old banknotes. Doesn’t everyone like that? OK, for those geeky enough to want to know more read on…

Situated on the ground floor in the corner of the Reserve Bank of Australian building this museum is not exactly on the beaten track. But I thought it was well worth a visit.

Inside the History of Aussie Banknotes.

First thing to note (no pun intended) was that this place only covered banknotes. The coin history museum is supposedly in Canberra. A little disappointing but I already knew before I entered. As if to compensate for the lack of metal money on display there is no entrance charge. Who can argue with that?

There were some early examples of gold coins that were made during the Australian gold rush period (circa 1870-1914). Aussie gold was used to make gold sovereigns with the ruling British monarch’s head on – Queen Victoria. Other than these examples however it was all notes.

It turns out that Australia never had their own real bank notes until the 1920s. But that was still the Pound and it was still tied very much to the UK.

‘Decimalisation’

I had always wondered when and how the Australians ditched the old colonial Great British Pound for the more American sounding Dollar. Obviously not enough to look it up but anyway; this was clearly the best place to find out.

On the 14th of February, 1966 the Australians moved to their own, new currency of Dollar and Cents. They called it ‘decimalisation’. It was not only decimalised by moving away from the old (British) Pounds, Shillings and Pence system. This was the creation of a completely new currency. The old British system had 12 Pence to a Shilling and 20 Shillings to a Pound. That’s 240 pennies in a Pound! It may seem a little confusing to youngsters these days, but it really wasn’t. There were some benefits to the old non-decimal system, but I will not go into them right now. If anyone wants to know then please write a comment in the blog and I will reply.

Interesting side fact: Also in 1966, Japan replaced the UK as Australia’s main export market. (Or are the two things linked???)

Pound to Dollar – The Name Game

Even the name of the new currency has an odd story. I always assumed it was the natural process of the Americanisation of the world. That possibly Australia just conveniently stumbled into having a dollar to tie in with their new Vietnam War buddies the USA (Australia entered the Vietnam war the previous year in 1965). But no…It’s a little more interesting than that.

Initially, in 1963, the government wanted to call it the ‘Royal’. Almost trying to break away softly from the old ruling country. There were over 1000 crazy names suggested in a pubic naming competition at that time including: the Roo, Oz, Boomer, Kanga, Emu, Koala, Digger, Kwid and Dinkum. Yes, you read that lot correctly. If it was not all up there in the museum I wouldn’t believe it myself. Another suggestion was the Ming (the nickname of Prime Minister Menzies). That would have been great. They could have called the coins Gordons and there would have been 100 Gordons to one Ming (the Merciless). It would have caught on in a Flash!

It turned out that the ‘Royal’ was not popular with the public, so the government quickly backtracked and went for the ‘Dollar’. Why they didn’t just call it Pounds and Pence – with 100 pence making a pound – I have no idea. That would have decimalised it all in the same way the UK eventually did five years later in 1971 (also coincidentally in mid-February). Who the hell knows? They clearly wanted their own name for their own money but plumbed for the ‘Dollar’ which everyone automatically associates with the USA. Hmm…that worked well eh? The rest as they say, is history.

Plastic Fantastic

In 1988 Australia produced the world’s first polymer (i.e. plastic!) banknote – a $10 note to commemorate the Bicentennial of the first settlement. It proved a great success and in 1992 a complete set of polymer notes was issued. Way ahead of other countries, including the UK which has only recently introduced plastic notes. The Euro notes are still paper based and there is no sign of those being changed any time soon. Thereby proving how backward the European Union really is. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one.)

As if printing counterfeit polymer notes is not hard enough, there are an amazing 10 security features on the new polymer notes. Very sophisticated stuff.

Helping the Public with Currency Conversion

At the time of issuing the new decimal currency there were a series of leaflets and posters to help people adjust. I suppose they did a similar thing in the UK in 1971 but although I remember the new coins coming into effect, I really can’t recall anything in terms of public information literature. (I was only 6!). The character used to help the public was called “Dollar Bill”.

Look at the conversion rates in the second picture. One Pound = 2 Dollars. While this was referring to the (old) Aussie Pound it is interesting to note that it is pretty much the same conversion rate with the UK Pound today.

Dani woke up early on his first morning in the new place. No struggling to wake him from his usual deep sleep that morning. He said he heard someone shouting. Then he made the same noises that he heard. I had heard it too.

A Bloody Bird

I laughed when he made the noises because he did a perfect imitation of the dawn screams. In the hotel we were eight floors up with double glazed windows and in a totally built up area. In this single glazed apartment, in this part of town, the buildings have garden areas with trees. Perfect for this pesky and noisy bird. Perfect for all birds actually.

It was not human that was for sure. It was definitely a bird. So, as usual, I did some investigation work.

Common Koel or Aussie Magpie?

I thought that it was almost certainly the Common Koel. A blackbird with distinctive red eyes. Dani’s mum thought it was an Australian Magpie – similar in colouring but a fair bit larger than its European cousin. She could be right. Or we could both be wrong. Whatever it is, it sounds a little bit like a child screaming.

Check them both out on youtube to hear their annoying calls.

Where’s the Airgun Shop around here?

There were other birds singing – like anywhere in the world early in the morning but this one particularly bloody noisy beast woke me up too. I may just buy an air rifle and take them out. If I can actually see them. But don’t tell Greta. Mind you she probably wouldn’t know any Australian birds. She left school before the antipodean bird lectures (amongst others).

In any case if this bird is a ‘common’ Koel then there must be loads of them. Right? And there are definitely loads of Australian Magpies. You see them all the time.

Ok. Before I get reported to the RSPB; I am only joking.

Or am I? Let’s see how well I sleep in the coming mornings. After the first few mornings I may be getting used to it.

Kookaburra

Early last evening I spotted an iconic Australian bird in a tree opposite. One that most people in Europe would have heard of but have never seen or heard. The kookaburra. More commonly known by its full name – the Laughing Kookaburra. Now there is one bird call that you cannot mistake. But do they make the other (more annoying) screaming call? More investigation needed…

* RSPB stands for Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. As Australia still has the Queen as head of state, I assume the RSPB are in operation here.